The Cancer Chronicles – Part V

 

(No, the next part will not be Part W.)

 

August 18^th, 2009

I know you’re all dying to hear what agonies I’m going through now, so here goes.

I saw my GP, you remember, Dr. Phil, last Tuesday for a follow-up, but complained about a very dry mouth, roof and tongue (it felt as if I had burned it with some hot tea or pizza. My throat was rough and it hurt to swallow (water?). I was told earlier by the oncology APRN that this was a side effect, but it wasn’t this bad, and what the hell, I was there anyway.

So I stop Nasonex and Claritin because it could be drying out my throat and I see an ENT man, who sticks this damned camera thingy up my nose and down my throat and says he doesn’t see anything. My wife says: “Are you sure you went down his throat and not up into his skull?” [Ha! Ha! Very funny! Everyone’s a comedian.] [Just like the oncologist, when the MRI of my brain came back and he said: “They said: ‘Insufficient material’.” [Ha! Ha! Very funny! Everyone’s a comedian.]

So, he thought it could be the side effects or reflux laryngitis, so continue the Prevacid and watch what I eat.

So anyway, my cough is back, my throat’s no better and I went to see the APRN, the lovely Karen, this Tuesday, Aug. 18^th. And she quickly noticed that my rash has become “quite flamboyant”. So I said, if you think this is flamboyant, you should see me in New York City on Gay Pride Week. [Buddumbump-kishhh - Everyone’s a comedian!]

Karen decided that with the rash and the throat problems the side effects of the cancer drug (Tarceva, for those of you with short memory spans) can be doing more damage than good. So, she asked me to stop the Tarceva for five days and gave me a prescription for MORE STEROIDS!!! YOWZA! So, now I’m on some delightful little drug called Methylprednisolone. (“Or what the boys in the locker room call, methylpred”, he said with a swagger.)

Karen will converse with the oncologist, Dr. S (remember Dr. S?) when he gets back from wherever on the 25^th and I’ll converse with him on the 1^st. And then I’ll go see Holly and get some Zometa and Decadron (or what the big boys call dexamethazone). And on Wednesday I’ll mow my lawn, my neighbor’s lawn and paint the house. On Thursday I’ll go hit home runs for the New York Yankees. And on Friday... [The comic points to the audience, turn his head to the right, cup his ear with his left hand and hears:” The Rabbi Slept.”]

[Buddumbump-kishhh! Everyone’s a comedian!]

 

Well that’s the news from Lake Waybeyond, where the women are strong, the men smell strong and the kids smell each other. [Buddumbump-kishhh! Everyone’s a comedian!]

Rudy the Strong

Live strong.

PS. On a lighter note Toby, my sweet wife and love of my life, has had her first annual (anniversary?) mammogram and consultation and she is cancer free and doing well.